


The Romance of Dark Matter

by Chrysanthos



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: AU where this is the only thing that's changed. There's nothing else different., Don't take too seriously, Light-Hearted, M/M, Nonsense
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 14:35:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8920819
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chrysanthos/pseuds/Chrysanthos
Summary: Victor has a little secret, but Yuuri has a secret of his own...





	

**Author's Note:**

> I could not rest until I got this complete nonsense out of the way.
> 
> Don't take this seriously in any way possible.
> 
> EDIT: Added a quick little omake at the end that would not stop bothering me until I put it up.

"Yuuri..." Victor said, catching the shorter man's attention, "I have something to tell you. It's a... secret of mine..." He trailed off.

 

"Hm? Go ahead, Vitya!" Yuuri said, smiling with an air of charming curiosity that made Victor's heart feel like it was going to burst.

 

"I- Well, it's a very stunning secret, so..." Victor trailed off, not sure where to begin.

 

"You can tell me, Victor," Yuuri said, after a beat. Victor nodded, took a deep breath, then revealed his deepest, darkest, most personal secret.

 

"I'm an alien."

 

Silence.

 

"Is that it?" Yuuri asked, and Victor blinked as his fiancee continued, "I thought that you would confess to something weird, like you that were into vore or that you got your first boner staring at the _Mona Lisa_ or something."

 

"I... What?" Victor asked as Yuuri enveloped him in a hug.

 

"Victor, it's okay if you're from another country," Yuuri continued, "I know Russia and Japan haven't had the best relationship in the past, bu-"

 

"Yuuri, that's completely incorrect." Victor interrupted him, removing him from his lover's tender embrace and looking into his eyes.

 

"Really? 'Cause the years 1904-1905 say otherwise."

 

"No, you misunderstood me entirely," Victor said, moving his hands up to his hair, "I am an alien." He restated, moving his hands and revealing antennae.

 

They wiggled.

 

Oh.

 

_**Oh.** _

 

"So, you're a space alien?" Yuuri said dumbly.

 

" _Yes_ , Yuuri," Victor said, finally glad this whole shenanigan was behind him, "I'm an alien from the Andromeda system sent to win as many gold medals in figure skating as possible!"

 

"... _Why_?"

 

"Cassiopeia knows," Victor said, shaking his head (and didn't his hair seem more silver somehow), "All I know is that, right now, I know that I made the right choice in abandoning my mission, and choosing you instead-"

 

"Then you won't mind if I show you this?"

 

"Hm? What-" Victor was interrupted yet again, but this time by a cold fire suddenly enveloping Yuuri, and then subsiding to reveal...

 

Wings. And a thin, whip-like tail.

 

"I'm a demon," Yuuri deadpanned, "An incubus, to be exact. And I've fallen for you the same way you have for me."

 

Another silence.

 

"Okay, _what the fuck_."

 

"That was my initial reaction too, yes."

 

"How did you become a demon?!" Victor shouted, incredulous, " _When_?!"

 

"Detroit fucked me up." Yuuri shrugged. "You seriously didn't notice? My tail doesn't fully vanish when I hide my traits."

 

"I thought you just had a cute piercing," Victor said, blushing.

 

"... You think my tail's cute?" Yuuri said, blushing.

 

"The cutest!" Victor shouted, his antennae wiggling cutely in joy as another pair of arms emerged from Victor's sides, "You're just adorable all over! Though..." Victor said, immediately going back to four limbs as he entered a thinking pose, "I do wonder how being an incubus will help your Eros routine..."

 

Yuuri chuckled. Trust his fiancee to be distracted by that. "Well..." He sang as he loosely wrapped his tail around Victor's neck and pulled him down by about three inches so that their eyes met, "I could always show you..." He smirked as he saw hearts dance in his lover's eyes. He didn't even need to use a charm or anything, Victor was organically in love with him! "But first, some food! I'm starving! Being quasi-eternal doesn't mean I can't starve, y'know?" He pulled away cheerfully, expertly hiding his demonic features with the same cold fire from before.

 

Victor, still reeling a bit from the sudden display of sheer lust, nodded dumbly as he returned to his normal "human" appearance. Grabbing Yuuri's hand, the two walked down to a cafe they had passed earlier. He stopped and pointed, "Hey, Yuuri, isn't that Minako and Mari?"

 

* * *

 

 

"Hey, Chris," Phichit said, pulling Chris aside for a bit, "Look at this."

 

"Hm? What is it?" Chris asked as Phichit pulled out his phone and pulled up the WiFi settings.

 

"Check it out," The Thai skater said, pointing to a network labeled _v-nikiforov_  that seemed to grow in strength the closer Phichit got to the man, "Victor's a hotspot."

**Author's Note:**

> This is more my style; nonsensical fluff with no grounding in any reality whatsoever.


End file.
